I think I deserve everything that happened to me because I’m a stupid bitch that believed every word guy told me just because it had never happened to me before, I was so caught on that I ate it all up and I just look stupid now. With good reason. And this had to happen to make me realize how much of a shitty friend I am for putting those that really cared for me second over that. And I cant with myself. I just thought it was my turn to be happy in life for once. Happy like that you know. But life doesnt work that way. Theres so much more to how I feel but its so hard to even verbalize it I cant even write it down without me realizing how its not even worth my time I acknowledge it, but that doesnt stop me from hurting.